Has a week gone by already? It seems like the week off I had ahead of me has quickly evaded me, only to be found in memory. But good memory to say the least. My mom was here from Wisconsin visiting us--she left this morning. There is something wonderful watching your own mother with her granddaughter. I saw my mother in a whole new light as she cradled Ellie in her arms, talked quietly to her, shed quiet tears of joy and thankfulness. I saw the simple joy in her eyes every time she looked at Ellie. There wasn't a moment where mom wasn't watching her anxiously, just waiting for the moment she could swoop in and hold her once again. While Andrea and I had a great time with mom, it was a beautiful time of fellowship for her and Ellie especially.
It's hot today-at least 102 degrees. In the quietness of a little down time, Ellie lay next to me on the couch, lucky to be naked except for diaper. I sat reading Donald Miller's Searching for God Knows What. As amazing as that book is, I kept finding myself looking over at her, just watching her sleep in the warm summer air to the hum of our swamp cooler. It was a photo shoot waiting to happen. So I put Miller down and grabbed the camera for Ellie's first black and white session. In all the intricate features of her body, I took a picture most parents would skip over (and certainly not post on a blog!). It's her umbilical cord, or what's left of it. This hard, crusty tree, spread out from the plastic clamp placed on her seconds after her entrance into this world, was a striking reminder of her separation from us already. No longer is she directly connected to Andrea. In the midst of taking these pictures the day before going back to work after a week of pure fatherhood, I found myself wrestling with the feelings of leaving my daughter. Sure, it will only be for so many hours, but what hours those will be to miss! It saddens me to think of the time we'll be apart. And it will be doubled since Andrea will be home on maternity leave. At the same time, I'm extremely grateful for this, as Andrea can build that intimate relationship with Ellie in her time at home.
Miller's last chapter was right up my alley, as he was talking English literature, comparing Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet to the love story of Christ pursuing His people. A very interesting comparison that reveals the play in new light for sure...it also resonated with my feelings of separation from Ellie. I won't get into the details, as Miller does an amazing job of explaining. But I was thinking of how we have to wait to be with Christ, and how long it seems, and how hard the journey can be, and, despite God's blessings, how empty life is away from Him. On the flip side, it opens my eyes to the even more infinite gap Christ must feel not only from me, but from Andrea as well, little Ellie, His beloved all over Grand Junction, Colorado, the U.S., Israel, Lebanon, the world. The world is full of Christ's children, and as a father, his separation is excrutiating, or so I can only imagine. But to know that, as Miller said, time is going to have it's end, and after that, well, it's a reunion beyond comprehension...how comforting. What hope we truly have! How I long for that day... And now to imagine Ellie there as well, with who knows how many grandchildren of my own?
So I guess you could be praying for me as I hit the grind tomorrow. Pray that the morning finds me at peace in Christ, as I trust Him to hold my precious wife and daughter in His hands in my absence, looking forward to our reunion later in the day. And for Andrea, as she'll be on her own with Ellie for the first time. May God bless them both.
Thanks for reading, and feel free to write us at gatrenda@yahoo.com if you didn't have our e-mail already. Peace and Blessings!
Love to All,
Graham, Andrea & Ellie
It's hot today-at least 102 degrees. In the quietness of a little down time, Ellie lay next to me on the couch, lucky to be naked except for diaper. I sat reading Donald Miller's Searching for God Knows What. As amazing as that book is, I kept finding myself looking over at her, just watching her sleep in the warm summer air to the hum of our swamp cooler. It was a photo shoot waiting to happen. So I put Miller down and grabbed the camera for Ellie's first black and white session. In all the intricate features of her body, I took a picture most parents would skip over (and certainly not post on a blog!). It's her umbilical cord, or what's left of it. This hard, crusty tree, spread out from the plastic clamp placed on her seconds after her entrance into this world, was a striking reminder of her separation from us already. No longer is she directly connected to Andrea. In the midst of taking these pictures the day before going back to work after a week of pure fatherhood, I found myself wrestling with the feelings of leaving my daughter. Sure, it will only be for so many hours, but what hours those will be to miss! It saddens me to think of the time we'll be apart. And it will be doubled since Andrea will be home on maternity leave. At the same time, I'm extremely grateful for this, as Andrea can build that intimate relationship with Ellie in her time at home.
Miller's last chapter was right up my alley, as he was talking English literature, comparing Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet to the love story of Christ pursuing His people. A very interesting comparison that reveals the play in new light for sure...it also resonated with my feelings of separation from Ellie. I won't get into the details, as Miller does an amazing job of explaining. But I was thinking of how we have to wait to be with Christ, and how long it seems, and how hard the journey can be, and, despite God's blessings, how empty life is away from Him. On the flip side, it opens my eyes to the even more infinite gap Christ must feel not only from me, but from Andrea as well, little Ellie, His beloved all over Grand Junction, Colorado, the U.S., Israel, Lebanon, the world. The world is full of Christ's children, and as a father, his separation is excrutiating, or so I can only imagine. But to know that, as Miller said, time is going to have it's end, and after that, well, it's a reunion beyond comprehension...how comforting. What hope we truly have! How I long for that day... And now to imagine Ellie there as well, with who knows how many grandchildren of my own?
So I guess you could be praying for me as I hit the grind tomorrow. Pray that the morning finds me at peace in Christ, as I trust Him to hold my precious wife and daughter in His hands in my absence, looking forward to our reunion later in the day. And for Andrea, as she'll be on her own with Ellie for the first time. May God bless them both.
Thanks for reading, and feel free to write us at gatrenda@yahoo.com if you didn't have our e-mail already. Peace and Blessings!
Love to All,
Graham, Andrea & Ellie
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