There Is A Reason

Caedmon's Call has been one of my favorite bands for years now. I got into them up at Frontier Ranch in Buena Vista, CO the summer I did a Work Crew with Young Life. Followed them diligently mostly through college, and then kind of left them after Derek Webb left the group. (I was heartbroken, o.k?! Give me a break...) Anyway, thanks to K-Love radio, I've found a song off of their album Overdressed that has really been powerful to me. The title of this post is the name of that song.
As I was pulling the ServiceMaster van out of the garage this morning, I heard "There Is A Reason" on K-Love. I almost missed it, too. Usually if the radio has been left on from the day before, I turn it off right away so I can have a semi "quiet-time" enroute to the first job of the day. I actually heard a few lyrics from the song, turned off the radio, and then said, "Hey, that's Caedmon's Call." So I turned it back on.
Hold that thought while I switch gears. This time of year is deadly slow for ServiceMaster. The past few days I've been out hanging door hanger coupons on people's doors just to get some much needed hours, and to try and stir up some business. Well, I was off work by early afternoon both Monday and Tuesday.
Today, I planned on getting off early again, but for a reason this time. This lady, we'll call her Ashton, who is interviewing me over the phone this coming Monday for the Farmer's auto adjuster position, was in town today for a business expo at Two Rivers Convention center. In her e-mail to me, she said she would be there until 6 pm, an hour before the expo closed. So I figured I would have plenty of time to get home from work, shower, get dressed to impress, and then go put in some face time with someone who might just play a part in my future. I had even checked my schedule with our secretary Christina on Tuesday to make sure I'd have time off. Knowing the way this job rolls, I should have known better.
My day went solid, and I mean SOLID, until 5:00. As I was driving home, I was asking God, "WHY? Why was I busy TODAY, and not Monday or Tuesday?" I was pretty grumpy when I got home. Barely stopping to kiss my adoring wife and daughter, I skipped the shower, got dressed, and raced back into town. I walked in the doors of the Convention center right around 5:30. PLENTY of time to say hi, ask Ashton some questions, yada yada yada. I was dressed to kill--I'm not bragging, you can ask my wife. I got looks walking through the doors. Seriously. (I won't tell you what kind of looks, but I got 'em.)
Into the hustle and bustle of the expo I strutted. I was ready to get this job. My pace was noticeably different from the other job-seekers around me. I walked hurriedly through the narrow aisles, looking at the signs and displays quickly. Everyone else was slowly studying the selection of free pens, and deciding whether or not the free candy was worth talking to those poor, bored employers. I made the full loop once. "They must be down one of the center aisles." I marched back and forth down them. No Farmers. "I must have been in such a hurry I walked right past it." Back around the room I went. More looks from employers, asking themselves, "Is this guy lost?" or "What buddy? We're not good enough for you?" Still, no Farmers. I called Andrea for my Farmer-friend Justin's cell number. As I was ringing him, walking for a third time around the room, a guy from a garbage collection company said, "You're missing all the good jobs, man!" I smiled and held the phone away from my ear so he could see it and said, "I'm trying to get in touch with someone." As I look back on that, I hope the Lord doesn't use that guy as a prophet. Otherwise, I missed a job fair for nothing.
I couldn't get a hold of Justin. I walked out into the hallway and asked an expo worker if there were more employers located elsewhere in the building. Negative. So I went back into the room and looked one more time, as if my eyes were failing me. No luck. Now I was torqued. "I sped home after stressing about time all afternoon, and got dressed up for this? A no-show?" I didn't go dating back in high school, but I started to get the idea of what being stood up was all about. It was quite frustrating. I imagined bored Ashton bailing out of the expo early, sitting down at the Rockslide or the piano/wine bar Moulin Rogue just down the street, enjoying a good meal and a fine drink. For a split second, I thought about searching for her, then decided that might be crossing some ethical line. So I walked out to my car and started driving home. At the first stop light, I was asking God out loud, "WHY? Why did I have to work so long today when I had so much time available the past two days? You know it'll be dead at work tomorrow--absolutely dead. WHY was she gone at 5:30 when she said she'd be there until 6:00? WHY?!"
I called my beautiful wife, who knew from my first visit home that the day was not going as planned. She kindly got Ashton's cell number for me, twice, because I didn't enter it in my phone correctly the first time, but to no avail--only her voice mail. Strike three. Thwarted. Defeated. Out of luck. "WHY?!!!"
Dejected, like a sailing vessel adrift in the lifeless doldrums, I stewed. Questions, doubts, more questions. "God, I'm trying to make a change for the better here. Am I pursuing the wrong job? Should I continue to be content where I'm at? No, I can't do that, there's no future there, at least that I can see." The mental arguments raged on. Then the lyrics from the morning came back through my mind, like the life-giving breeze that sets a desperate vessel in motion once again: "He makes all things good. He makes all things good. A time to live, a time to die. A time for wonder and to wonder why, there is a reason. There is a reason..." Wow, a time to wonder why. Words of hope, words of solace and comfort. I realized in my head that my situation was not life-threatening. I realized I was still blessed, coming home to a wonderful family full of love and smiles and hugs of acceptance. I still had a job. I still had my health. So many blessings, yes, but in my circumstance, God still uttered reassurance.
Like the radio this morning, I almost missed the blessing. I almost missed the opportunity to let God be God on this journey.
How often do we do that in life? We're so busy or anxious or focused on our goals that we forget to live life along the way. God, in all His power, is boxless, and will do as He pleases. We can choose to go along with Him, or we can choose to do it alone. His way is by no means convenient, predictable, mechanical. There is no formula with God. And He uses times like these to ask the question of us, "Why won't you follow my lead. Why are you in such despair? Why are you doubting Me?" If we're lucky, we won't take offense to the Fatherly smack upside the head, but rather see the reason for the call to attention instead, and heed the life-giving wisdom.