Shock Wave

Continued from the previous post: My Friend, Orion

Monday the 3rd. My favorite number is 3. I think it's because of the Trinity. Anyway, Monday at 2:00pm was my test. That morning I got through my job with ServiceMaster in good time, allowing me to get home, have a healthy lunch, and do just a quick refresher on fractions and percentages. I kept thinking that would be prevalent on the test. With hope in my heart, the prayers of many friends and family members behind me, I went to the test determined to conquer.

I was nervous, I'll admit it. I knew how much was riding on this test. This was the "Pass Go, collect $200." If I didn't pass, well, I really didn't even want to think about that at the time. I'm a sore loser.

I met Shane Wells in the office, my potential new boss. He was getting the computer ready for the test. Once ready, he sat me down at the computer. This Pass/Fail test would take roughly 2 hours.

The first section I felt totally confident in. It was 17 questions in 23 minutes on interpreting company policy. The second section was a little tougher, with 23 questions in 17 minutes. It was on English grammar, spelling, sentence structure, etc. Then came the math. 26 minutes to do 15 questions. I dove in.

Before you continue, I've got to admit that after reading this post, it really doesn't do the moment in time justice. Instead of writing more of a novel than is already here, just know that the rise and fall of these emotions were like the waves in the movie The Perfect Storm.

I think I got the first seven math questions correct. Then I looked at the time. Less than 10 minutes. The dam that was my sanity started to crack. I went from one question to the next, judging the difficulty. It was futile. The crack sprung a leak. "On no, Lord." The panic started to trickle through my mind and my heart. I hadn't come so far to fail now. Less than five minutes.

The leak was tearing away at the dam, growing from a trickle to a shooting geyser. My mind could have figured out the problems--if I had more time. There was no way. I had to finish. I went back to problem eight and started to educate guesses.

When time ran out, the dam exploded. All hope erupted out of my reservoir and cascaded away down the canyon. I sat there, drained. I couldn't even begin to fathom what had just happened.

In a daze I went and told Shane I had finished. He then had me fill out a behavioral test on the computer. It was pointless, I thought. There was no way I had passed the test, so this was just a formality.

I was like a soldier who just had a bomb go off right in front of his face. Somehow I survived the blast, but the shock wave deafened me immediately, causing me to stumble around disoriented.

In Shane's office, he had me sit down as he looked up the test score online, as the test was issued through a third party. I tried to prepare myself for his words. This was it. This was the end. How would he say it? "I'm sorry Graham, you didn't pass the test. Thanks for applying. In another year, if the position is available, you can apply again." I thought of all the people that had been praying so fervently, who had their hopes just as high as I did. I could see their hopeful faces falling, their heart's sinking. It was more than I cared to imagine.

Staring at his computer screen, he slowly and methodically clicked away with his mouse. Then, without looking away from the screen, he uttered these words softly, "Well, you passed, so that's good." He continued clicking away for a second, then turned to open a manila folder.

"What did he just say?" I thought to myself. A little short on breath, I asked him, "Did you say I passed?" He turned to glance casually at the screen again, then back at me as he said, "Yup. Now that we've got that hurdle out of the way, do you have time for an interview?"

"SNAP!" was the word that went through my mind, "I'm still in this!" All was not lost...

Miraculous. With all the prayers being lifted up, as Bill in my small group said, that was 'The Anointing.' What a way to venture forward into this interview process. I believe I made it to where I am now only by the abundant grace of God.

I've got to tell you, I was in a different realm during that interview. When I got back out to my car, I seriously asked myself, "Did he say I passed?" It was like I was having an out of body experience. I almost went back inside to ask Shane, but then thought, "Why would he interview me if I hadn't passed?" I was that out of it...

Andrea was ecstatic when I told her--she was so happy for me! Honestly, it took all night for it to sink in. It wasn't long before I hit a wall. My mind, body, heart and soul were simply exhausted.

The Lord prevailed, and He is SO good... When I look at this job situation in the view of eternity, you know, the one where God returns to earth and there's this little thing called the Apocalypse, I just feel like this is so minuscule. But knowing how intimate our Savior is, this is a monumental occasion. In my mind and heart, I am erecting a marble monument along a soft dirt path out in the middle of the most gentle of rolling countryside. It's a large monolith,and the sun peering between wispy clouds illuminates the brilliant white marble, standing sure and solid against the wind blowing off a distant ocean. The inscription reads:

In the Year of Our Lord
Monday, March 3, 2008
The way was opened,
and He alone lead me down a new path.

Carpe Diem

My next interview is over the phone with two of the head honchos from Denver, again on Monday. The next day, I'll ride around with one of the auto adjusters to get a real-life taste of what I'll be doing, should I get the job.

Thanks to all of you who are walking the journey with me in this life. I wouldn't want to do it without you.